Blog Challenge - Day 04!

"a habit you wish you didn't have"

To be honest, this is a difficult one for me. I'm quite strong willed, so if I don't want to do something, I just won't. As you'll see though, it's not always the case the other way around - I'll sometimes let people hold me back from doing things I do want to do.

My bad habits include:
I've been an on/off smoker for years (a side effect of having a group of best friends who nearly all smoke), but I've never been addicted. I can just pick it up or stop it whenever I like, so I don't really feel it's a habit. I stopped for good for about a year with no trouble, and now I'll have one when I'm drinking or in an environment where it seems social, but I'd never really smoke as a regular thing.

Other fairly bad habits that I don't want to give up is dying my hair unnatural colours, getting tattoos (five and counting!) and eating food that's bad for me. I refuse to give up something I enjoy because someone I've never met decided that what's beautiful is tall, slim, tanned women with unblemished skin and wheat-blonde hair. It's just not for me. I'm short, roundy, bosomed, pale, tattooed and freckly. I dye my hair a different colour every month (like Ramona from Scott Pilgrim!)and currently have hair that's the colour of ginger autumn leaves. I love it.

I was recently asked "Do you not wish you were thinner, so you can wear more fashionable clothes?" My answer was a resounding no. I wish I could go running with my friend Fiona, I wish I could sit on my boyfriend's knee without fearing I'll give him a dead leg and I wish I could wear haute couture. But none of these things make me feel like less of a fashionable or attractive person - because I know size 10 girls that can't do those things either.

I'm currently wearing a maxi skirt, chunky knee-high boots and a loose fitting top. All these things magazines would probably tell most girls my size and shape to steer clear of, but there you go. I feel like my ourfit is edgy, comfortable and looks good on me.

Clothes shouldn't be about how tall or thin you are, or how big your chest is. Clothes should be about making the person wearing them feel like they're great. A brilliant example is Christina at Musings of a Fatshionista. She wears amazing clothes that challenge what people believe about how bigger girls should dress. Check her out.

I guess that's the habit I'd like to give up - going for the tame option in dressing, for fear of how people will judge me. Because although I like to write about what I believe, sometimes it's hard to fight against the tide of people telling me what I should look like. It's interesting that I was unafraid to tell my Catholic family that I had discovered Atheism, but still sneak out of my flat (it's in the cellar of my parents house) when I'm wearing something I know my family will ridicule or tell me I "look fat" in. I spent years wearing nothing but black, when I was much thinner than I am now, to avoid comment, so I could blend in. I didn't blend in. I looked like a ninja. I'm freer with colour and style now, but I still need to embrace myself, and to trust my ability to dress in a way that makes me happy.

Sorry about the word-heavy post! I'll do a nice music review for you tomorrow, as well as my blog challenge post!

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